the diary of an unemployed college grad: the finale.

the return for a $100,000 education in this economy? unemployment, food stamps, and a double-digit balance in your savings account.

this is the diary of an unemployed college grad.

y'all have seen my struggle so far: internship didn't offer me a job, employers didn't even bother to respond to my applications, and now i'm on government assistance.  what else could possibly go wrong now?

well…

good ol' bank of america called to inform me that i had crossed my minimum balance threshold - oh, joy!  and capital one called as a "friendly reminder" to pay my bill, although all i could hear was my credit score flushing down the toilet. yay me.

i couldn't live like this anymore, i had to find SOME kind of income. after ruling out streetwalking and street pharmacy (i didn't really consider these, y'all), i went on the hunt for a retail job.  no one really likes working retail no matter how enthusiastic they seem, but needs had to be met.  so a friend connected me with a friend and got me a part-time gig in a shoe store - not exactly PR, but it'll do.

meanwhile, i'm still applying for jobs - at least 10 a day. i even started a spreadsheet to keep track of all the jobs i had applied to, but nothing was biting.  out of the 147 jobs i applied to, i got 8 first-round interviews…all of which ended at the first round.  at this point, i knew i was going to end up working retail for the rest of my life; subject to hourly wage, lack of benefits, and dealing with managers who could barely manage their hair.

but then…

after i while, i honestly stopped applying for jobs - for like two days.  in case y'all don't know, applying for jobs is a full-time, unpaid job.  on day two of my self-imposed application strike, my phone rings.  i check the ID screen, and it's an unknown number.  under normal circumstances, i wouldn't answer an unknown number, but it could have been ed mcmahon calling to tell me i'd just won the publisher's clearinghouse money (i know he's dead, y'all - can't a boy dream?).  i answer, and it's a recruiter from a very large PR firm.  under normal circumstances i would have been ecstatic for this call, but by this point i'd had so many dead-end interviews that this was just another tease.  i put on the enthusiastic voice (those of you who know me know how different this is from my normal demeanor) and graciously accepted the opportunity to interview.

first round interview went well, per usual.  said my usual prayer, "lord, let your will be done," and proceeded to apply for more jobs, because i knew they weren't going to call me back.

but they did. 

this was the farthest i had ever made it in an interview process since my summer internship last year.  this was the confidence boost i needed, and i kept the faith strong.  round two went better than the first.  then they called back for round three - a series of four interviews, two of which were via skype - and those went better than the ones before.  and then, nothing.

had i gotten my hopes up for nothing? had these people led me this far to just drop me this close to the end? wack. sauce.

but then my phone rang.  "we'd like to extend an offer…"

 oh, and…

long story short, I GOT A JOB!

unemployed college grad no more!  so with that, here are a few things i learned during my time of unemployment:

1) keep your faith - i can't lie, sometimes i wanted to question god and ask why this was happening to me. but every time i got to that point, he'd show me someone who was in a far worse situation and make me remember that despite my unemployment, i was still blessed beyond measure.  i prayed, i fasted, i improved my relationship with god, and i think - no, i KNOW - that's what ultimately got me through this.

2) your real friends will show themselves in your time of need - if i have $2 and my friend has 50 cents, then we have $2.50 - that's the type of friend i am.  i never would have thought people would alienate me because of my financial situation, but they did.  but luckily i had a very strong support system in my true friends (and my boo). if they had it, i had it - so we had it. and i appreciate them all for that.

3) ain't sh*t promised to anyone - i think that one is pretty self-explanatory.

so here i am, good people. an employed college grad.  praise god.